• Anne Costa

Decisions, Decisions

I recently had the experience of not being able to make a decision. I was filled with angst and ambivalence, trying to arrive at the best thing to do in a situation that wasn't yielding any great hints. It wasn't a major life decision, but it certainly had some important implications and the "what if" scenarios were swirling in my head. It seemed that the closer the deadline came for me to make the decision, the muddier the waters became. I literally felt torn apart inside as I mulled over my options.

But I had to make a decision, so I did. I acted on the decision and within 30 seconds I realized I had made the wrong one. I knew it was the wrong decision because it didn't bring me any internal peace, in fact, I felt worse than I did in my ambivalence. Everybody around me was quite satisfied with the decsion, but I knew it was wrong. So I had to reverse the decision and that is when all hell broke loose.

My final decision was an unpopular one with those around me, and even though I knew it was the most loving one. for me and others, it wasn't received that way. So while the storm of conseuqences swirled around me, in the aftermath of my decision, I was at peace inside. That is how I knew it was the right decision.

I think the moral of my story here is two-fold: First, sometimes it is better to make a decision even if it is the wrong one, than to make no decision at all because making the wrong one can get you that much closer to the right one.


The most loving decision may not yield the most loving responses in others. In other words, the right decision for you might feel like the wrong one for others. Some examples:

When you make the decision to stop enabling an addict or give your teenager a dose of tough love or you say no to behavior that will keep you in the in crowd but compromise you spiritually.

My decision was not near the magnitude of the ones above, but it certainly got me thinking. Next time I will know that all will be well that ends well when I make the decision to mak the most loving decision I can.

Peace to you!

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